thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes

(Source: kawhoru, via disagreed)

moretoremember:

I would never cheat in a relationship

because that would require two people finding me attractive.

(via implodingwbu)